In our study last night we had some pretty tough lessons. 2 Samuel 12 & 13 present both good and bad examples. David is reaping what he has sown. His son Amnon rapes his daughter Tamar.
It’s a sexual sin, it’s a violent sin. It’s inexcusable. Verse 21 of chapter 13 tells us that David was angry, but then the text goes on to indicate that David did nothing for over two years.
Frozen by his personal failure, David takes no action. He is an absent father, a father who is evidently so self focused that he cannot act to either discipline his sons or advocate on behalf of his daughter.
Three distinct things came out of our lesson last night:
1. Sometimes men are so busy building their kingdom or empire, that they neglect the most important thing in life, their families.
2. Sometimes men fail to act strongly to discipline their children. 1 Kings 1:6 tells us that David never crossed his son. Men, this is your job, to lovingly correct your children.” He who spares the rod, hates his son” -Proverbs 13:24 Ironically, that is written by one of David’s sons.
3. Sometimes men neglect a primary need on behalf of daughters. Women in general need to know that the men in their lives are their heroes. Men have an obligation to rise up and defend, to be an advocate, -this is a basic need. Here David had an opportunity to love his daughter by being her champion, instead, he is a chump.
Here is a bonus 4th lesson, something that didn’t come out in our meeting: David failed to teach his children about his own failure. His failures, like ours, are teaching opportunities! Parents use your scars to teach your kids how to avoid your failures! Be humbled.
The life of David provides rich lessons for us, he demonstrates many good and godly characteristics. Parenting is not one of them.