I read a quote today that made me want to gag. In her review of Mark & Grace Driscoll’s book “Real Marriage“, former Mars Hill women’s ministry leader Wendy Alsup says the following:
“Mark said in the same Acts 29 Bootcamp message referenced earlier that the pastor’s wife has the “most important job” in a new church — “having sex with the church planter.”
Wendy goes on to ask the following question: “I wonder what the Driscoll’s story would be if Grace became incapacitated long term.”
The focus on sex as being so incredibly important in marriage, and to men, is, in my opinion, frighteningly far off course from what the bible and Jesus teaches. Jesus, in fact elevated the role of women in society. Almost all of what women enjoy in terms of cultural equality and worth comes from His teaching. Jesus honored the woman at the well in the face of cultural bias. Jesus honored women who were notorious sinners in the same way that he embraced men who were sinners. Jesus honored and cared for His mother in His final hour. The Apostle Paul taught us that men should love their wives as Christ loved the church – an indication of loving sacrifice.
As a husband, and the father of four daughters, the idea that sexual performance is elevated to the primary function of a married woman is offensive to me. My guess is, that it is pretty offensive to women as well. Sex is an important part of a healthy, loving marriage, the bible is clear on that. But the over emphasis of it is unhealthy, and in my opinion, detrimental to the goal of a loving relationship. Missing is the idea of mutual submission, servitude, and self control.
Ladies, Jesus sees you as much more than a pin cushion for your husband, or future husband. While the world markets you as sexual objects created for the enjoyment of men, you must realize that this is a lie of the Devil. You are, in fact, a precious and wonderful gift. You are princesses, and queens, partners and friends, to be loved and cherished, by those enlightened enough to see you as daughters of the King.
If you are troubled in soul, or body, or if you are wounded, and unable to be as healthy as you would like… you are all the more loved, and all the more recipients of God’s grace.
Girls, rest in the knowledge that Jesus loves you, He has grace for you, and it is enough.