New Years

Wednesday marks 28 years of living without drugs and alcohol in my life.
They have been good years. This Spring will be my 27th year of life with Christ –something even better.
I like to look back, remembering pretty vividly what the occasions of change looked like.
Both were at my own bedside, in my room, alone.
The first found me loaded, empty, and ready to end my life. (thankful every day that I didn’t pull the trigger)
Rehab was good, after all, I didn’t really want to die.

I found, however, that the alcohol, the drugs,… the sex… none of that was the real cause of the pain that I felt.
It was there, even after the fog of those things were gone. They were just symptoms of the greater disease of sin.
That was what I had to face on that Spring day,… there was still something missing.
In the morning I gave my life to Jesus. It was the best decision of my life.
It’s a moment forever burned into my heart.

It’s good to look back. What I see is a good God, who loved me, and gave His life for mine.
His death, that I might live.

Like George Bailey, who got to see a vision of what life would have been like if he hadn’t lived, I look back and consider what might not have been. I look at my lovely wife, my glorious daughters, my friends, the church, -and I’m so thankful.
Like the line from the Talking Heads song “Once In A Lifetime,” I ask myself, “well, how did I get here?”
Yeah, I know how I got here. And I know that the Lord is going to continue to lead me and bless my life.

I hope you find yourself in the care of the Lord this year. If not, pray the prayer and ask Him to forgive you of your sin. Ask Him to come in and rearrange your life. He will do it.
If you find yourself in the grip of addiction, like I was, ask for help.

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